Birthday stuff -- August 16th

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson

After all the medications that the doctor gave me, my reaction to the third treatment is slowly but surely going away. A whole layer of my skin has been peeling off for the last two weeks but now that it is all better, my skin is actually looking better than it has ever looked. 

My birthday was August 11th…I went out before my birthday with my friends in LA. I love going out and forgetting about everything and just having a good time. I actually still have birthday celebrations coming up this weekend so that should be exciting.....

anyways...I was surprised a few days before my birthday that I was heading to NY. I was so happy to go home and see my best friends and my family. I share a birthday with my sister (obviously she is my twin) and my mom so it was nice being with them because my family are the most important people in the world to me. 

I went to my Grandmothers mausoleum in NY and I didn't think I would cry but I couldn't help but wanting her here in the flesh going through this with me. I feel like she would have listened to me and been there for me like nobody else and I just wish I had the strength that she had when she was going through this battle. 

I came back to LA with my mother to get blood work and have the doctor look at my skin and reaction to the last treatment. He told me that we are going to have to still hold off on getting the next treatment until this reaction is completely gone. He also is putting me on Prednisone….im sure most people know this is a steroid. It is a steroid that makes you gain a lot of weight as he warned me. My appearance hasn't change much since I found out I have cancer but I know that it will change in the next few months so I'm just trying to get ready for that. soo everybody watch out for chubby Kristin soon. I don't know exactly what to expect or when this weight will be put on but I'm ready. Maybe (i'm hoping) ill gain weight in the right places if you know what I mean… (like my booty lol). But that is definitely not going to happen so let me stop dreaming…..anyway…I'm getting a biopsy of my actual cancerous lesion on Monday so I'm nervous about that because that will tell me if there is any cancer even still in there. I've been so anxious and nervous and scared the last two weeks….I've been put on anti anxiety pills and sleeping pills among other things just to calm my nerves. I just want everything to be okay and I Want to continue treatment so that I can get this over with. I just want all of this to be over with……