I go back to the doctor because this lesion was getting
worse. It got bigger and opened. It almost looked like a flesh eating disease.
( I would put a picture up but it is pretty gross). When I got to the doctors
office, I was called in immediately. I sat there in the doctors personal office
waiting for him to come in to give me another pill that will get this
“infection” to go down. Instead he came in…didn’t even sit down.
“Kristin, you have lymphoma.”
I was like what. I didn’t know what lymphoma was. I was
like……ughh okay?
“This means that you have a form of cancer.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. How could I, a perfectly
healthy 22 year old, have cancer? Why was this happening to me? I cried the
loudest cry when I finally processed what he said. Immediately I thought that
I’m going to die. How am I going to call my loved ones and tell them that I
have cancer and I’m dying? I kept asking the doctor
“Am I dying? Am I dying?”
He kept saying he doesn’t know what stage I’m in or if it
has spread anywhere in my body.
I called my Dad first and I knew tears came to his eyes but
being the assertive business man that he is, he said
“let me talk to the doctor, your mother is getting on the
first flight. Daddy will not let anything happen to you.”
I continued crying and crying all day telling each and every
one of my family members. No one knew the extent to my cancer. The doctor
specified that I have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I looked up everything and me
being the person that looks at the glass half empty, I was convinced that I was
going to die.
That day, I went and got two tattoos because I was convinced
I was dying and I wanted to be more tatted before I die. Sounds silly….but
whatever. I’m weird.
The night of May 20, 2013, I packed two huge bags, picked up
my mom and stayed at a hotel in Westwood for a week. That week was the longest
week of my life. My dad luckily was able to call people to get me to the best
oncologist who specializes in lymphoma, Dr. Stephen Forman. The most amazing,
charming man I have ever met. I walked in the City of Hope on Thursday (May 23)
with my mom and my sister who had come in from Charlotte, NC earlier that day.
City of Hope is the most amazing campus I have ever seen. It is so light and
cheerful. It gave me hope. That day I got blood work done and a chest x-ray. In
my head, I thought I had tumors all over my body. I kept saying in my diary…
“im dying.” An hour after my blood work and my chest x-ray, I met Dr. Forman.
He made me feel so comfortable and hopeful. He talked to my mom, my sister and
I for 4 hours answering all of our questions. He told me my blood work and
x-rays were completely normal.
**sigh of relief**
but…..then he looked at my lesion. He was astonished by how
bad it looked. It was a 4 inch by 3 inch open cancerous lesion on my stomach.
He felt all over my body for different places I could possibly have tumors…he
didn’t feel anything!! He said
“We need a PET scan and bone marrow biopsy to find the
source of this cancer…this is a very aggressive cancer.”
He also said..
“your treatment, no matter what the results, will be chemo
for 6 months.”
My first thought was I’m going to be bald and sick and
weak……that’s when it hit me..i mean really hit me…I HAVE CANCER…..
Above was me laying down before the doctor came in...i was so nervous
My brother shaved his head so I'm not alone =)....my wittle baby
