Remission? -- August 27th

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." -- John Wooden

Bad news first: my rash came back due to being taken off the Prednisone too quickly….I have been the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my life for the last few days because it literally feels like i have mosquito bites everywhere on my body and I just wanna itch all the time. He put me back on prednisone with an even higher dose so I can already tell it's getting better because I'm not as itchy. I was 135 pounds when this all started…I'm now 150…..I'm feeling a little big but honestly I'd rather be a little big than be uncomfortable so bring on the steroids!!!! 

so now for the good news… I went to the doctor to get the results for my biopsy. He told me that the biopsy came out negative….no lymphoma was found. He told me that I am most likely in remission but he can't say for sure until i get another PET scan. Since there was cancer no where else in my first PET scan, he doesn't believe there will be any cancer anywhere else again. BASICALLY……i am 90% sure im in remission but I'm just waiting for him to tell me when my PET scan will be. The below picture I found on instagram and reposted it when I found out I'm most likely in remission…..anyone that knows me knows that this picture is 100 percent my personality so it was perfect when I found it. 

I remember thinking that I was going to die on May 20th when I found out. I got two tattoos that I always wanted the same day. I told everyone I loved them….I really thought that the doctor was going to tell me that I have weeks to live. Most people I know that had cancer…died….So to me….I was dying. It was the biggest relief for him to tell me that this is the onset of remission and I'm most likely cancer free. I've done a great job of hiding my fear…but i was scared everyday…all day, I would laugh and act like everything is okay…but almost every night, I wrote in my journal with watery eyes wondering why and what's next for me. I never let it be known when I was in public that I was sick….I don't like people feeling bad for me. I'm still worried obviously that maybe, just maybe, the cancer spread somewhere else. The doctor is pretty positive it didn't so I'm doing my best to believe him. I can't wait to get the PET scan results and just yell at the top of my lungs with 100 percent certainty, IM CANCER FREEE!!!!!!! Also…..everyone knows I can't dance…BUT i made a video of what I wanted to do in the doctors office when he told me the good news……AND…below that….a special shout out to my friend Ladiamond who has gone to the most doctors appointments with me and has been there for me every step of the way…crying more than me…and celebrating with me afterwords…. LOVE YOU!