“courage is fear that said its prayers”
I’ve been waiting for a call for my appointment since the PET scan and I just got the call that at 5:30PM today, I have a bone marrow biopsy and will be getting the results of my PET scan. I am more nervous now than I was for my first appointment with him because what if the cancer is all over my body? Last night I was sweating so much. I don’t know if its because of the cancer or I’m just so nervous. I just have a feeling that the cancer is more severe than he thought.
It’s just weird because I always thought if you have cancer,
you don’t feel perfectly healthy like I do. I get pains in my lesion a lot but
that’s really it. My stomach hurts a lot too but that could just be because I
haven’t really been able to eat.
I really just don’t want him to say anything bad in front of
my dad who is coming in today. I just want my dad to relax and this might make
him more stressed.
Stephen Forman (my amazing doctor) told me they’ve been
talking about me A LOT in all caps. I
do’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing but I think it’s a good thing
because he really cares about me and wants me to be healed. He is just trying
to find the right way to go about this.
I keep thinking about how the lady at the PET scan said I
should really pray on this one. She saw something ---I just can feel it. I’m
hoping she has no idea how to read it and just saying that because she is a
really religious black lady. =)
I don’t know how to change my negative thoughts. They are
everywhere. I want to start chemo already. I’m ready to fight!
This is a bracelet that is for lymphoma (color for lymphoma is lime green)
The bracelet says "together we will find a cure"
My mother bought a bunch of these bracelets so all my close friends and my family can wear them.
