Out of Arcadia! June 29

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." -Mahatma Ghandi

If anyone doesn't know this…i was living in a hotel for a month searching for different apartments to move into. well…I finally moved out of the hotel and I found a perfect apartment downtown looking over the city. Hotel life was horrible….only good thing was housekeeping and room service…. The hotel was also in Arcadia…and if anyone doesn't know what Arcadia is, it is one of the most boring towns I've ever been to in my life soo… Glad I'm out of Arcadia and in downtown LA!

I went to City of Hope on an emergency call because my catheter was hurting and itching and it's not supposed to do that. I went in and when they took off the bandage, my skin was all puffy and red. I think I'm allergic to the tape that they are putting over the catheter but anyway….I decided that I'm taking the catheter out for a few reasons:

1. It's the most uncomfortable thing ever

2. I have to put a cover on it every time I shower

3. I get asked what it is EVERY DAY at least 3 times a day and telling people I have cancer over and over again and having them look at me with the pity face is getting old. 

SOO Monday is the day I'm getting it out….getting the catheter out means that I have to get poked a lot to take blood and for my treatment. I hate needles so much but I'd rather deal with a little poking once or twice a week than deal with this catheter 24/7. 

Every time I get the catheter cleaned, I have to wear a mask.  I'm not sure the exact reason why.... I just follow the rules.

Every time I'm at City of Hope, I always discover something new and beautiful on their campus. I found a Japanese garden filled with trees and flowers and a pond. The pond had the biggest, most beautiful fish I've ever seen. A lot of people meditate in the Japanese Garden. There are different rocks for people to sit on in quiet spaces around the garden. There are also many benches. I'm not a huge meditation person because sitting still is not really my thing BUT I've been trying to get myself to just sit down, relax and think lately so maybe next time I go there…I'll TRY to meditate. (gotta look on youtube to see how to meditate lol)

There are many statues on City of Hope's campus that people donate but two stand out to me. One is "Virgen de Guadalupe" and one is Pope John Paul. I always see people surrounding these two statues and praying. People put crosses and flowers and candles in front of both statues. I was not a very religious person before I found out I had cancer. I think I'm starting to become more religious….maybe more spiritual than religious actually. I've always been confused about religion and that is why I always just say I believe in a higher power. Whoever my higher power is (which I personally believe is God for now), is who I pray to. 

Second Treatment -- June 24th

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” Mother Teresa

I received my second treatment today. This time I got my own small room! I loved it!…last time I was in a room filled with other cancer patients getting treatment. All the patients were elderly and I felt very out of place and a little sad in that room. Being a young person with cancer, I am stared at a lot. I see the look the elder people give me when I walk in the room. It's the "aww she is too young.." look.....and I just smile back but it still makes me a little uncomfortable...

Before every treatment, they give me a Benadryl and hydrocortisone to help any possible side effects of the Brentuximab (my chemo). 

This time the treatment took an hour. I am trying to figure out different things to do during treatment. I finished The Walking Dead already on Netflix and started watching Revenge today. IF ANYONE HAS NOT WATCHED THE WALKING DEAD…u need to ASAP….amazing show! Anyway, treatment is actually relaxing and I can feel the cold liquid going into my body…feels kinda cool actually. I get cold though so I brought my Lymphoma blanket with me! 

I found a meditation center in the City of Hope today. It is amazing. There is no one ever in there really. I went in there and just sat there and looked around. I've been thinking negatively lately more than usual about this whole process. I know that I will beat cancer but I've been just mad thinking about why this is happening to me. I know this whole process will make me a better person but it's been tough lately. I prayed and sat in silence for about 30 minutes. The meditation center is for all faiths. Below are pictures of the mediation center. I discover something new every time that I go to the City Of Hope…what an AMAZING facility!

What I have learned but still struggling with now is the internet. My advice to anyone that is diagnosed with cancer is to STAY OFF THE INTERNET. When I first got diagnosed, I looked up so many things and cried literally all day everyday thinking that I had every possible disease in the book. I remember my knee really hurting so I literally thought I had cancer in my whole leg for about a week. I thought I had cancer anywhere I had pain until I got my PET scan results back. 

Now, unfortunately, I still use the internet to look up different things and it scares me. The doctor tells me to stay off the internet so I've been getting better. The internet will tell you that you are dying. No matter what I look up, the internet does a great job of telling me I'm dying when in reality, I'm not. The internet does nothing but add to the negative thoughts you may already have. The doctor knows best and trusting him/her is the best thing you can do. 

Follow Up with the Doc -- June 18

"There is no profit in curing the body if in the process we destroy the soul." 

Three appointments today --- 3 hours at the hospital….

I am not going to complain about having to go to the hospital every week for hours and hours although I really want to…

Good news is that the doctor said my recovery has been remarkable. My tumor used to be 10.5cm and it is now 5.5cm. My blood work is all normal except for my liver enzymes being elevated once again. My doctors exact words were "the elevated liver enzymes are most likely from the treatment unless you are lying to me about how much you're drinking…"..I really haven't been lying to him about my drinking so I know for a fact it's from my treatment. 

Below is a picture when I was bored waiting for the nurse to come in.. I decided to give myself an ear examination =) (not actually…that would be kinda unsanitary to actually put that in my ear)

I got my catheter cleaned and redressed again. The nurse doing it was so optimistic and happy. She laughed at everything I said too which made me feel like I was actually funny for a second. I know what I was saying was really not that funny but she made it seem like it was sooo whatever. Her stomach kept growling and she said she just ate so she doesn't know why…and I was like "well I guess you gotta use the bathroom.." she laughed and then told me "You must be a bad girl…"..I don't really know how she came to that conclusion from me telling her that she probably had to go to the bathroom but yeah…

I discover something new overtime I walk around City of Hope. Today I discovered the "House of Hope." House of hope is a synagogue on City of Hope's campus for the patients and their families. I didn't have much time to walk around more and find out about what they have for other religions but next time I go, I'm definitely going to take some time to see what else City of Hope's campus provides for their patients and families.

I got to show my father the wishing trees today. He put up his wish on the same tree that my mom and I put our wishes on. Below is a picture of what he wrote and him hanging up the wish. 

"I wish that my beautiful daughter Kristin recovers quickly, and that this experience guides her for the rest of her long life!"

I received a package when I got home from one of my mom's best friends, Beth! I love Beth.. I saw her yesterday at the event I went to and she is just a joy to be around..not many people can make me laugh and smile but she does! I was so excited to open the package from her. In the package was two books, two seasons of House of Lies and a gift card to Intermix. Literally the three things I need right now so it was perfect. I've been trying to start reading and I'm already starting one the of the books called Tell No One by Harlan Coben. I've never heard of House of Lies (the tv show) but I can't wait to start watching it. Now I have something to do during my treatments!!! Thank you soo much Beth!

Graduation/Father's Day -- June 17

"When I hear someone sigh, 'life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'compared to what?'"
- Sydney J. Harris

I am so happy I was able to make it home to see my youngest brother graduate high school. I still see him as my baby so it's so weird to see him graduate and go to college but I couldn't be more proud of him. I love you Teddy… 

I ran into a bunch of people from my high school that told me that they have been reading my blog and have been praying for me. I love that so many people have been reaching out and giving me words of encouragement. It really has helped this process so much easier…

In addition to my brother's graduation being on Sunday, it was also Father's Day! I was told when I was younger that the first true love any girl has, is her father. I used to be like "umm..no" back in my teenager days because all teenage girls hate their parents because they wanna rebel and what not. Now, I KNOW that my father is my first love and there isn't any man that I will love more than him and there isn't any man that will provide for me like he does. I mean.. I hope I find someone that can be as amazing as my father is but I highly doubt that…especially my generation of men but let me not get started on that because this is about my father….Below are some pictures of my dad and I =)! WUV YOU DAD!

Tonight, I was able to attend a fundraising gala for Harlem Junior Tennis and Education Program. I am going to literally copy their mission from their website to further explain this program:

"Our Mission is to bring tennis to youth from high risk, low income inner-city neighborhoods and offer opportunities for self- development, while highlighting education and a positive code of behavior."

One of my mom's best friends, Katrina, is the executive director of the program and has done an amazing job! It was so nice to hear from kids in the program tonight. They shared how the program has impacted them and the older kids shared how this program helped them get into some of the top universities in the country. 

I saw so many of my mom's friends. I know that my mom told her friends I have cancer. They probably thought prior to today that I looked fragile and sick and on a death bed somewhere so I'm very glad that I was able to come and be dressed up and show that I'm perfectly fine. I know I made a lot of people feel better after seeing me in person. I forgot to take pictures WITH people at the event soooo….all I have is a picture of myself before it.

While I was home I received three gifts from my mother's friends. They are the most thoughtful gifts! I know this is like weird to say kinda…but I really feel so loved like I didn't know this many people loved me I guess I can say…I have been more happy lately than I have been in a long time and I think it really is because all of this support I've been getting. Below are the pictures of the thoughtful gifts I received =)

Suzanna is the woman on the left and she got me a blanket that says "Lymphoma Warrior  -- I will win" on it. This is perfect for when I go to treatments sitting in a hospital chair for an hour or so! Lourdes is the woman on the right and she got me two beautiful bracelets. One has an Om on it symbolizing creation, oneness and truth and the other has an Eye of Horus on it symbolizing protection, light and reason. Thank you both so much! 

My Aunt Glenda got me these three necklaces. She wanted to get my necklaces representing my blog and my experience in all. I loved that she got me a necklace with faith on it rather than fear because once you conquer fear, you have faith. Thank you so much Aunt Glenda..

anyway....It makes me sad to leave my whole family and friends because they make me happier than anything. It sucks thinking I have to go back to blood drawings, treatment and hours at a hospital I don't even feel like I belong in. My sister, unfortunately, was not home in NY but my two brothers made my trip amazing. My brother, Gibby, is the funniest person I know and makes me laugh more than anyone else and Teddy (my other brother) is the most loving person in the world. I loved seeing my best friends, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, my godparents, my mothers friends....I loved seeing everyone! I'm just going to miss them so much. I think I'm just homesick even though I haven't even left yet. I love LA and want to live there but this whole experience makes me want to be home in NY more than ever. Off to Cali tomorrow....three doctors appointments RIGHT when I land...praying everything is still going great!

IM HOME! -- June 14

So I kept a huge surprise from my family and friends. No one thinks I'm able to travel but the doctor told me I can so I came to NY on Thursday! My number one fear in life is planes so I wasn't excited for the plane part. I literally go on planes ALL the time and EVERY SINGLE TIME….I either cry…go talk to the flight attendants…shake uncontrollably…or i just take some sleeping pills to knock me out. This time I had my mom so I would just hold her hand every time I was scared.

ANYWAY…once I got to NY.. My best friends Erin and Taylor and their mom Janet were supposed to meet my mom at the baggage claim thinking they were only picking her up… Taylor ended up not coming because of work but I still was able to surprise Erin! My mom came down first and I hid and came about 5 minutes after… Erin cried when she saw me so it made me cry too! 

Below is the video! (I come in at like 25 seconds)

I was able to surprise my siblings as well! My brothers were so happy to see me! I'm so happy I came home.. It's Teddy's (my youngest brother) prom and graduation this weekend so I'm so excited that I can be here to watch him go to prom and graduate high school. He will be attending Princeton in the fall! So proud….Below is a video surprising my siblings and a picture from Teddy's Prom! 

  

I'm so glad the doctor cleared me to travel to New York and be with my family and friends until Tuesday.. I really don't even want to think about going back to California and having a zillion doctors appointments but I'm just not going to think about that until I have to! More pictures to come!….

Wishing Tree - June 10

 "God gives his strongest soldiers his heaviest burdens."

I'm sure you are wondering what these trees are with hundreds of little pieces of paper hanging from them.... This is called the wishing trees at the City of Hope. Cancer patients, survivors, family members and friends make a wish on a piece of paper connected to wire and hang it on these trees. Some people also draw beautiful pictures or write a prayer. My mom and I both made wishes and hung them up on one of the trees.  Below I have examples of the different things people write including my mothers wish for me :). I will share my wish once it comes true with all of you.

My mother's wish: "I wish that Kristin has a full recovery form her lymphoma and it does not come back"

Today my first appointment was doing blood work. This is when I am so thankful for my catheter because they don't have to poke me. They just poke the end of the catheter and I don't feel a thing. Every time they do anything with the catheter, they have to clean it out by flushing it with saline. The last time they flushed it, it killed my chest because my catheter moved to my heart. BUT since they've moved the catheter, it actually felt kinda cool when they flushed it. The saline is colder than body temperature so it feels like a brain freeze but in your chest.. If you catch my drift... 

My second appointment was a meeting with my doctor, Dr. Forman. I am always happy when I see him because he is just the kindest, most compassionate doctor I've ever met. He always makes me feel so encouraged. He walked in and was so excited to tell my mother and I that Brentuximab was approved by our insurance. He had to convince them due to my age and diagnosis that this drug made sense. It was tough to convince them but he did it! He told me all my blood work was normal but my liver enzymes are elevated due to the drug triggering discomfort in my stomach. He was so impressed by how much my lesion shrunk! Everything was great! My mom was so concerned that I ordered a mimosa at lunch yesterday that she asked him if I could drink after I already told her he said I could and guess what he said? EXACTLY WHAT I SAID HE SAID. (except he said drink in moderation...but that's kinda the same) He also said I can live downtown instead of Pasadena which is so exciting because I originally thought it was too far. And as frustrating as apartment hunting is, I'm now excited that I get to look in downtown LA. 

My third appointment was to redress my catheter. I always love the nurses that redress my catheter because they answer all my questions no matter how silly they are. I just get freaked out whenever they take off the cover of my catheter because I see the actual tube in my arm knowing that this thing goes all the way to my chest. The nurses find me quite amusing for some reason so it's always nice to converse with them. Below are pictures of me and the nurse having a blast =)… (that was sarcasm if anyone didn't catch that)…

I now know that my medicine is working and I cannot be more thrilled! =) I still want for this all to be over but I know I still have 5 months left... I'm just going to keep smiling thinking about the day they tell me I'm in the clear.....

Hike and Special Thanks - June 9

Yesterday, I went on a hike with my mother. Anyone that knows my mother knows that she works out like 5 times a day (meaning that she is in way better shape than me). I get tired after walking up a flight of stairs so I knew that this hike was going to be a bit much but I did it anyway. 

About 50 times in this 2 hour hike, I complained about being tired. BUT it wasn't because I have cancer, it is because I don't work out and am extremely out of shape. I sometimes (always) would fabricate how tired I was to my mom so that we could stop. I complained about my chest hurting a few times…and my stomach…I only did that because I knew that my mom would be like "okay we can rest." If i told her that I was just tired and didn't wanna do it anymore she would scream "COME ON KRISTIN WE CAN DO THIS…" and then I would have to roll my eyes and keep going with no breaks….so although I might have lied a little to her…it was because she wouldn't have let me take a break otherwise.

ANYWAY….at the beginning of this hike…my mother told me that there was this great waterfall at the end and its famous for its beauty. I was actually kinda excited to get to this waterfall which was miles away might I add……LET ME JUST SAY…..if THIS waterfall is famous….then….i don't know…because this was a small little waterfall that went into a dirty small green pond. I looked at my mom like "this canNOT be the famous waterfall you were telling me about…" She started laughing so I think she knew this waterfall was really not that exciting to see but the only way I would walk that much was if she lied about it….it worked though…just like my lying worked =)! Here are some pictures from the hike! and a video of the WONDERFUL waterfall we walked 5 miles to see. -_-

Below are some quotes from different emails, texts, facebook messages, etc that I have received that have really motivated me and have helped me stay positive and smiling =)

"your positivity and faith in the midst of everything you're going through is amazing and encouraging."

"you're such a strong person and I know that if anyone can fight this, it's you."

"Although you may not understand why you are going through what you are, God is developing your character for your testimony so that you can help others."

"your blog has already touched so many hearts and inspired so many people not to take advantage of anything in life or anyone."

"God doesn't put challenges in people's live who cannot handle them."

"It takes really strong person to put their own pain aside and encourage and help other people."

"remember just because your grandma is not physically here, you grandma is definitely with you during all of this! she is without a doubt your guardian angel! embrace that and talk to her through all of this."

"face the reality of your cancer but don't let it control your attitude, confidence or thoughts."

"Often adversity gives us a chance to discover what we're made of,  to build our resilience for things to come, and to express gratitude for all that we have."

"I can't say this enough but you are amazing for starting that blog, simply amazing. I'm not sure I'd have Enough strength and bravery to openly talk about it like you"

"Your positivity and cheerful spirit are infectious and a true testament to the strength of your character."

"All things are possible through Him and continue to maintain such a beautiful, fierce and fabulous spirit about you."

"cancer can go f**k themselves, your a tough chick I know you'll kick it's ass."

"God usually chooses his strongest warriors to go through the toughest trials because He's already equipped them with the tools to not just overcome, but to also be a blessing to everyone around them"

"You have grown and developed into such a phenomenal and inexplicably strong young woman who is not only an inspiration but also an angel that positively touches the lives of everyone around you and have always been that way since you were young."

"God molded you in a special way and his vision for your life breathes a prosperity and degree of ecstasy beyond belief."

"I think that this sickness is if anything going to make you so strong, and inspire many other young adults, as it has truly inspired me."

"everything is going to be fine in the end"

"Just know that with faith, your family, and your friends you will beat it easy. This thing has nothing on you. It cannot defeat you"

Thanks to those that have emailed me, texted me, called me, Facebook…whatever…you don't understand how much that means to me. Sometimes I feel down and then I will look at my phone to a text or email from someone and it will pick me up immediately. There is not one person that has had any doubt that I will get through this and THAT is why I KNOW I will beat this. 

I also want to thank the people that email me that I don't necessarily know but email me to tell me their stories. To know that you have gone through the same thing that I'm going through and you are healthy now, gives me so much hope. Reading all these emails from cancer survivors is so uplifting. 

I just want to take this blog to thank everyone so much for their support and encouraging words.   

To keep everyone updated with my doctors appointments….I have three appointments tomorrow…blood work, redressing my catheter (meaning clean it), and to see the dermatologist about how my lesion/tumor is healing since the treatment. I'll have a new blog tomorrow to share the results of everything…lets hope this treatment is working like I believe it is =)

doctor-free week! June 6 - 10PM

"a day without laughter is a day wasted"

In my last post I was complaining a lot... I know. My lesion/tumor has gone down drastically. My catheter is not hurting my chest or arm anymore. My morning routine covering my lesion and catheter up is still a pain though.

ANYWAY!
This week was great because I had no doctor appointments after Monday...My Aunt Caroline and Aunt Val came to check on me and spend time with me. My mom came again... Everything has been great this week. I met up with people that live in California that I will definitely keep in contact with throughout treatment as well. It's definitely important to have people around you and feel loved during treatment because that's what is really keeping me going. Teddy (my brother) also goes out of his way everyday to call me and brighten up my day. I couldn't ask for better siblings in Erika, Gibby, Teddy and Sam. Love you guys =) (and Nica)

Today I went back to my school to surprise my students! Definitely the best day I've had since I found out I have cancer. They brighten up my day and I literally don't think I stopped smiling the whole three hours I was with them. I'm not going to go on and on about them but below are some pictures and a video of my amazing amazing amazing students.

 

Last but not least, Yanna Jackson (my two best friends (Erin and Taylor) little sister), sent me the nicest scrapbook filled with pictures of my friendship with Erin and Taylor over the years. It was so thoughtful filled with quotes and little flowers and stuff. I am bad at describing things but I have a picture of it below. I actually cried a little but I didn't tell Yanna that. It was really one of the best gifts I could ask for especially now.

Anyway..this was really just to keep people updated and to let everyone know I'm doing great! I have THREE doctors appointments on Monday, June 10th. I pray that everything goes well and we are making some progress!

Morning Routine -- Tuesday -- June 4th

"Pain is temporary, strength is forever." 

I'm going to start on a good note! My student made a shirt dedicated to me and it literally is the sweetest thing ever! I actually want the same shirt so I'm going to go to the place she got it and get one… It might be weird since the shirt says "i'm wearing this for kristin.." and I'm kristin but it is what it is!

Now for the bad part…and I know I barely talk about the bad parts but I feel like only talking about the good parts is fake because in reality…there are more bad parts than good…. I just happen to make the best out of MOST of the bad parts…

ANYWAY!

I feel like everyday is just a huge process to shower and get ready….

before I shower, I need to work up the courage to take off the patch on my stomach that is covering my lesion because every time I take the patch off, it hurts. The lesion really looks like its just flesh and the patch latches on to it and its just painful. THEN i have to get the shower sleeve for my catheter. It takes about 5 minutes straight for me to actually get it over my catheter. Then I have to squeeze this thing on it for it to be tight on my arm. THEN I have to work up enough courage to actually get in the shower knowing that when the water hits my lesion, I'm going to scream out of pain… After about one minute of straight pain from the water going on it, its better.

Below is the patch that I have to take on and off everyday

After the shower, I have to put the patch on for the day, take the shower sleeve off my catheter and wrap the catheter up to avoid infection. This all takes out 45 minutes. I've never taken 45 minutes to get ready for anything in my life but now I have to do it every morning. Hopefully I get used to this. 

This is the shower sleeve I put on my catheter.

Good thing is, after just 24 hours…my lesion has gone down…not a lot but I can see the difference meaning the treatment, Brentuximab, is working! The only side effect I really feel is fatigue. I'm also never hungry but I have to force myself to eat because I don't want to look like a skeleton. I am very optimistic about how the outcome will be but I just get irritated sometimes with a lot of things. I know everything will okay though so I just have to keep thinking about how good I'm going to feel when I beat this and am healthy!

My mom and aunt just came into town! And also my Aunt Glenda and Uncle Phil sent me some amazing flowers! Love them =)

First Treatment - June 3rd

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength..." (Corrie ten Boom)

I got my first treatment today! When I got there, I was put into a room with three other ladies getting chemo. They were all in their 60s/70s. The nurse gave me a Benadryl and injected hydrocortisone in my arm before my treatment started. She also gave me a packet telling me about Brentuximab. Of course, I skipped everything with all the big medical terms and went straight to the side effects. Possible side effects include chest pain, anemia, feeling fizzy, headache, belly pain, cough, swelling and upset stomach. I thought there would be no side effects but oh well....we will see because it effects everyone differently.

Anyway, the treatment lasted about 45 minutes...felt like 5 hours. I just sat there bored, no service to look at my phone.....My friend said I should start reading during that time but honestly reading just makes me tired and its just really not my thing. Maybe ill try it out though... I wrote in my diary for about 20 minutes then just stared at my father emailing people for the rest of the time...so that was a blast.

Below is a video while I was waiting for my treatment to be over....

After my treatment, I had horrible chest pains. I told my Dad and then called to see what I should do and they said to come to urgent care. I went to urgent care and after them doing a chest x-ray found that my catheter went down too far into the right chamber of my heart. The chest pain was so bad but they pulled the catheter out a little and now my chest feels perfectly fine.

This weekend before my treatment, I got my catheter cleaned and redressed and then I spent the weekend with my friends. It was a nice getaway because it made me kinda forget that I have cancer then today came around and I had to snap back into reality...

Last night, my mom had me get this reflexology massage. All the nerves in your body end in your foot so they massage just your foot and they can tell which places are sensitive and tell you what exactly you are struggling with. She was able to pin point my high anxiety levels. She also knew that I haven't gotten my period since I found out about cancer due to my anxiety. She told me that I need to get more sleep and write down things in my diary that I wouldn't necessarily right on here or tell anyone. I'm going to listen to her because she really seemed like she knew what she was talking about. I'm excited to see her again...

During my reflexology massage ....

My next appointment is not until Monday.. I'm hoping that there is some kind of progress with my lesion/tumor on my stomach! We will see....

NO CHEMO! Saturday 7AM

"Be the hero of your own story"

NO CHEMO! I am starting Brentuximab on Monday. Once every three weeks for six months. This drug is very new so I'm nervous but I am glad I am doing this because if it works for me, I am proof that this drug will work for others as well. The side effects of this drug he said are fever and chills. Because the drug is new, there may be more side effects that are not completely known yet.

I will have to come back to the hospital two to three times every week to get my bandage changed on my arm where the catheter is, the bandage changed on my lesion/tumor on my stomach, and to see the progress/shrinking (if any) of my lesion on my stomach.

If Brentuximab doesn't work then I will be doing radiation. And obviously, if radiation doesn't work then I will be doing Chemo. I'm very optimistic though! I really believe Brentuximab will work! I want to be able to help prove that Brentuximab is another way to cure my form of lymphoma so that this drug is used more in the future on other people. Chemo is such an intense form of treatment and I was ready for it but now I have to set my mind to be ready for something new. He said he is going to keep a close eye on me to hear if there are any other side effects because treatment effect everyone differently.

This is really a trial and error case but there isn't any downside to trying it and seeing if it works. If it works....I'll be healed and will be a successful case used to prove that it works for other people. If it doesn't work, I just move on to radiation in 6 weeks. No biggie!

Within the next 18 days, I have 8 doctors appointments. This will be my life for the next six months but I will smile through the whole thing. Plus, I love my doctor and all the nurses so it's fine. He has to check my blood counts and my lesion every week to see the effect this new drug has on my body. I'm so excited that I'm doing this new thing... I feel like a pioneer or something lol

Forgot to mention this...but this new drug is usually used after chemo doesnt work. In those cases, it has a 90% success rate. In my case, he doesn't know but he expects for it to work just as well before chemo. WE SHALL SEE...

I am not going to lie this catheter is killing my arm...and hurting my chest....I don't think its supposed to do that...I am going to City of Hope this morning to see if this is supposed to happen...Below is an example of what the catheter looks like without my bandage. There are two things that stick out of my arm to put the treatment in. and it is in a vein all the way to the middle of my chest.

I start Monday at 9AM... The journey officially begins....



Below--- more pictures from today...excuse my popcorn grease stains on my shirt =)