Morning Routine -- Tuesday -- June 4th

"Pain is temporary, strength is forever." 

I'm going to start on a good note! My student made a shirt dedicated to me and it literally is the sweetest thing ever! I actually want the same shirt so I'm going to go to the place she got it and get one… It might be weird since the shirt says "i'm wearing this for kristin.." and I'm kristin but it is what it is!

Now for the bad part…and I know I barely talk about the bad parts but I feel like only talking about the good parts is fake because in reality…there are more bad parts than good…. I just happen to make the best out of MOST of the bad parts…

ANYWAY!

I feel like everyday is just a huge process to shower and get ready….

before I shower, I need to work up the courage to take off the patch on my stomach that is covering my lesion because every time I take the patch off, it hurts. The lesion really looks like its just flesh and the patch latches on to it and its just painful. THEN i have to get the shower sleeve for my catheter. It takes about 5 minutes straight for me to actually get it over my catheter. Then I have to squeeze this thing on it for it to be tight on my arm. THEN I have to work up enough courage to actually get in the shower knowing that when the water hits my lesion, I'm going to scream out of pain… After about one minute of straight pain from the water going on it, its better.

Below is the patch that I have to take on and off everyday

After the shower, I have to put the patch on for the day, take the shower sleeve off my catheter and wrap the catheter up to avoid infection. This all takes out 45 minutes. I've never taken 45 minutes to get ready for anything in my life but now I have to do it every morning. Hopefully I get used to this. 

This is the shower sleeve I put on my catheter.

Good thing is, after just 24 hours…my lesion has gone down…not a lot but I can see the difference meaning the treatment, Brentuximab, is working! The only side effect I really feel is fatigue. I'm also never hungry but I have to force myself to eat because I don't want to look like a skeleton. I am very optimistic about how the outcome will be but I just get irritated sometimes with a lot of things. I know everything will okay though so I just have to keep thinking about how good I'm going to feel when I beat this and am healthy!

My mom and aunt just came into town! And also my Aunt Glenda and Uncle Phil sent me some amazing flowers! Love them =)