Out of Arcadia! June 29

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." -Mahatma Ghandi

If anyone doesn't know this…i was living in a hotel for a month searching for different apartments to move into. well…I finally moved out of the hotel and I found a perfect apartment downtown looking over the city. Hotel life was horrible….only good thing was housekeeping and room service…. The hotel was also in Arcadia…and if anyone doesn't know what Arcadia is, it is one of the most boring towns I've ever been to in my life soo… Glad I'm out of Arcadia and in downtown LA!

I went to City of Hope on an emergency call because my catheter was hurting and itching and it's not supposed to do that. I went in and when they took off the bandage, my skin was all puffy and red. I think I'm allergic to the tape that they are putting over the catheter but anyway….I decided that I'm taking the catheter out for a few reasons:

1. It's the most uncomfortable thing ever

2. I have to put a cover on it every time I shower

3. I get asked what it is EVERY DAY at least 3 times a day and telling people I have cancer over and over again and having them look at me with the pity face is getting old. 

SOO Monday is the day I'm getting it out….getting the catheter out means that I have to get poked a lot to take blood and for my treatment. I hate needles so much but I'd rather deal with a little poking once or twice a week than deal with this catheter 24/7. 

Every time I get the catheter cleaned, I have to wear a mask.  I'm not sure the exact reason why.... I just follow the rules.

Every time I'm at City of Hope, I always discover something new and beautiful on their campus. I found a Japanese garden filled with trees and flowers and a pond. The pond had the biggest, most beautiful fish I've ever seen. A lot of people meditate in the Japanese Garden. There are different rocks for people to sit on in quiet spaces around the garden. There are also many benches. I'm not a huge meditation person because sitting still is not really my thing BUT I've been trying to get myself to just sit down, relax and think lately so maybe next time I go there…I'll TRY to meditate. (gotta look on youtube to see how to meditate lol)

There are many statues on City of Hope's campus that people donate but two stand out to me. One is "Virgen de Guadalupe" and one is Pope John Paul. I always see people surrounding these two statues and praying. People put crosses and flowers and candles in front of both statues. I was not a very religious person before I found out I had cancer. I think I'm starting to become more religious….maybe more spiritual than religious actually. I've always been confused about religion and that is why I always just say I believe in a higher power. Whoever my higher power is (which I personally believe is God for now), is who I pray to.