Second Treatment -- June 24th

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” Mother Teresa

I received my second treatment today. This time I got my own small room! I loved it!…last time I was in a room filled with other cancer patients getting treatment. All the patients were elderly and I felt very out of place and a little sad in that room. Being a young person with cancer, I am stared at a lot. I see the look the elder people give me when I walk in the room. It's the "aww she is too young.." look.....and I just smile back but it still makes me a little uncomfortable...

Before every treatment, they give me a Benadryl and hydrocortisone to help any possible side effects of the Brentuximab (my chemo). 

This time the treatment took an hour. I am trying to figure out different things to do during treatment. I finished The Walking Dead already on Netflix and started watching Revenge today. IF ANYONE HAS NOT WATCHED THE WALKING DEAD…u need to ASAP….amazing show! Anyway, treatment is actually relaxing and I can feel the cold liquid going into my body…feels kinda cool actually. I get cold though so I brought my Lymphoma blanket with me! 

I found a meditation center in the City of Hope today. It is amazing. There is no one ever in there really. I went in there and just sat there and looked around. I've been thinking negatively lately more than usual about this whole process. I know that I will beat cancer but I've been just mad thinking about why this is happening to me. I know this whole process will make me a better person but it's been tough lately. I prayed and sat in silence for about 30 minutes. The meditation center is for all faiths. Below are pictures of the mediation center. I discover something new every time that I go to the City Of Hope…what an AMAZING facility!

What I have learned but still struggling with now is the internet. My advice to anyone that is diagnosed with cancer is to STAY OFF THE INTERNET. When I first got diagnosed, I looked up so many things and cried literally all day everyday thinking that I had every possible disease in the book. I remember my knee really hurting so I literally thought I had cancer in my whole leg for about a week. I thought I had cancer anywhere I had pain until I got my PET scan results back. 

Now, unfortunately, I still use the internet to look up different things and it scares me. The doctor tells me to stay off the internet so I've been getting better. The internet will tell you that you are dying. No matter what I look up, the internet does a great job of telling me I'm dying when in reality, I'm not. The internet does nothing but add to the negative thoughts you may already have. The doctor knows best and trusting him/her is the best thing you can do.